Hello boys and girls.... Is anybody out there..? Probably not. That's ok. This was a one man show from the get go. Thought I'd check in seeing as it's been a while. This time of year is usually when the best movies are supposed to come out. The last couple of years have seen a lot of comic books and cartoons brought to the big screen. This year, Hollywood, devoid of creativity or originality, decided to tread on holy ground for its inspiration attempting to recreate the magic of Karate Kid AND, can ya believe it, The A-team...

Let's start with the Karate Kid. I'm not so sure if it was meant to be taken seriously as a movie or if Will Smith was overdoing it on the Christmas presents when he cast his underage, undersized, inexperienced son as the westerner who gets introduced to the world of martial arts. Maybe I should just list my beefs:

Soundtrack - who doesn't remember the iconic fight scene with "You're the Best" playing in the background, or "Cruel Summer" as Daniel goes back to school after getting beat down at the beach? Or how about "Young Hearts" when they go on their first date? Nope, rather than sticking with simple, light, and yes, slightly campy fare, Smith tries to keep it real by thugging out the soundtrack holding on to blackness like a warm blanket... "That's racist man..!!!" you might say... Well, I just don't remember Daniel crossing the country in an IROC or wearing a tracksuit to school. They could have given him some more Italian/New York flavor, but they didn't need to because they had a good story.

Jaden Smith - cute kid, flexible, athletic. Ralph Machio - feminine, walks like a chick, can't fight. BUUUTTTT.... MACHIO IS A REAL ACTOR!!! You pulled a Godfather 3 when you put your son in the lead role. Sure, you might like it, it might make him feel good, and your wife likes it, but THE BOY CAN'T ACT!!! Machio had The Outsiders under his belt. Smith had four lines in that Happyness movie...!!!! Come on. Keep the nepotism out of Hollywood. We need more Nicolas Coppola's in the world. Guy wants to earn his place so he changes his last name to Cage and works his way up. Doesn't go crying to Uncle Francis Ford to go buy him a big budget movie.

Title - It's not karate... It's Kung Fu. They had such little faith in the quality of their garbage film that the on thing they stayed true to was the title. (outside the US, it's called The Kung Fu Kid)

Jackie Chan - only bright spot in the film. Chan brought a magic to the film that was all his own and did honor to the memory of Pat Morita.

My worksmith isn't working so well today, so, as usual, I'll let our friends at YouTube do the talking: